Fear Walks Beside Me

Right now I'm standing between who I've been and who I'm becoming.

And that space isn't poetic..

It's uncomfortable.

It's full of second guessing.

Because it sits between the version of me that learned how to be safe, and the version of me that wants to be real.

And that's where fear lives.

And if I'm being really honest,

it's because I'm letting go of control.

Control over how I'm perceived.

Control over how I'm understood.

Not that I ever truly had it anyway.

But when things stay unspoken publicly, it feels like I do.

The moment you start something of your own, or start aligning with what's actually true for you, it feels scary because it's unfamiliar.

Because my values, my words, and way of seeing the world are no longer private.

They're visible.

And now I can be misunderstood.

People can decide who they think I am from a very small window.

Visibility has always been tied to risk in the human psyche.

To be seen is to be known.

To be known is to be vulnerable.

And the more known you are, the more opinions are formed about you.

And in a world ruled by social media, those opinions aren't distant anymore.

I think that's what I was actually sitting in. I kept telling myself I was thinking about what this first episode should be.

What the right way to start was.

Whether now was the right time.

But the truth is, it didn’t really matter what I started with.

Or when.

I was just scared to start.

Because once you begin, what was just a thought becomes a position.

And what actually helped me get here today behind this microphone, was a clip I watched by Miley Cyrus at an award ceremony.

She said;

Legends get scared too. I'm scared right now. But the difference is, we do it anyway.

After hearing that I realised

The work is not "how do I remove fear?"

It's noticing that I don't actually need fear to disappear before I move.

Fear doesn’t show up for no reason.

It shows up when something unfamiliar is happening.

Fear is what the nervous system feels when something familiar is about to change.

It's not danger.

It's transition.

This didn't just change the way I started a podcast. It changed how I see fear altogether.

Fear is just a sensation of stepping into unfamiliar territory.

And that can happen at so many moments in life.

When you become a parent.

When you leave something that once felt safe.

When you start something new.

When you realise you can't go back to who you were.

Fear shows up at all those edges.

And when I let fear walk by my side,

I actually feel grateful for it.

Because it tells me there's an opportunity for stepping into something new.

And that brought clarity.

Clarity about what matters to me, without needing to feel acceptable.

And I hope, in sharing this, it sparks something for you too.

Not pressure. Just curiosity.

About where you might be choosing comfort over truth.

And what might shift if you gave yourself permission to move a little closer to your true self. The unedited version of you, beyond the one that learned how to just fit.